Egypt Today, Party Yesterday.

Egypt Today is one of the few Egyptian English language magazines worth reading. Every month, it provides a myriad of articles covering Egyptian culture, controversies, and important but overlooked issues. Some of my favorites include 'Fishing for life' which explores the culture and living conditions of the river people, and another was the issue of methanol laced alcohol which is rife in Cairo's poor districts. Unfortunately there is something about the magazine which occasionally makes me cringe.

It's the ads and advertorials. 

It's not the fact they have ads that bother me; it's the ads' contents that have me feeling annoyed. Littered in the glossy pages of the magazine are dreamy and out-of-reach ads of new private compounds in the rich suburbs of the city where I will find peace and happiness, or flashy cars claiming to be the source of joy and comfort I am looking for. The jewelry I must decorate my presence with from high brow stores, or the luxury hotels and resorts that would provide me with my dream vacation. The gas guzzling SUVs that make me more of a man, or the spas that would bring out my femininity. The banks, cell phones, furniture and fashion... All a sum up of what to do with your supposed millions. What I don't understand is the expectation these corporate behemoths have... Do they suppose someone reading a popular Egyptian English magazine automatically has millions to spend on these items?

It's very rare for me to find an ad that I'm interested in. Last month's issue provided me with precisely one item I found interesting, and another two that were affordable but not really interesting. The interesting item was a solar water heater from Olympic Electric, and the other two items were Timberland sneakers that somehow make you faster than usual, and Lipton tea 'Taste of London'. The solar water heater didn't mention any hints about the price, but it seems like a good investment considering the environment and impending oil doom. The Timberlands are, ehh, kind of weird looking with a green glow that for some reason reminds me of nuclear waste. The Lipton tea promised the finest black tea you'll taste. Funny they call it the taste of London considering they don't grow any tea there, but I guess they consume a lot of it.

The advertorials. Oh the advertorials. Possibly the most obnoxious segment in the magazine. I swear to you, one of the headings was like this 'Four Seasons at The First Residence celebrates a decade of decadence'. I mean, I applaud the fact that they so blatantly honest, but come on. Look up decadence in any dictionary and you'd find scathing definitions encompassing terms like moral decay or self-indulgence. Most of the advertorials are like that; telling the world how much fun they had at last night's event or party. I mean what's the point of paying a magazine to print that out. How does it help you? You've already invited everyone you wanted to invite ages ago, and you've already had you're party. Now why do you need a loudspeaker in the form of an advertorial to tell everyone how you made everyone come in the same color outfits, or had Haifa Wehbe pose in a photo with you and your buddies.

Oh whatever.